I live like Putin and Medvedev.
At least I think so when I look at the fence around my barrack. Everyone has the usual fence, and inside there are rods to dry the laundry on.
But I have a 6-metre high fence, the kind I have only seen in our investigations of Putin's and Medvedev's palaces. Putin both lives and works in such a place - in Novo-Ogaryovo or Sochi. And I live in a similar place.
There is a special room with three sewing machines right in my barrack. It's a special industrial zone of my "prison in prison". It's kinda strange they didn't put a sewing machine right by my bunk.
Putin has ministers sitting in the waiting room for six hours, and my lawyers have to wait for five or six hours to see me.
I have a loudspeaker on my barrack that plays songs like "Glory to the FSB," and I think so does Putin.
That's where the similarities end, though.
Putin, as you know, sleeps until 10 am, then swims in the pool and eats cottage cheese with honey.
But for me, 10 am is lunchtime. Because work starts at 6:40.
6:00 - Wake up. Ten minutes to make bed, wash, shave, etc.
6:10 - Exercise.
6:20 - Escort to breakfast.
6:40 - Search and escort to work.
At work, you sit for 7 hours at the sewing machine on a stool below knee height.
10:20- 15-minute lunch break.
After work, you continue to sit. A few hours on a wooden bench under a portrait of Putin. It's called "disciplinary activities".
On Saturday, you work for 5 hours and sit on the bench under the portrait again.
Sunday, in theory, is a day off. But in the Putin administration, or wherever my unique routine was set up, they are experts at relaxation. On Sunday we sit in a room on a wooden bench for 10 hours.
I don't know who can be "disciplined" by such activities, except for a cripple with a bad back. But maybe that's their goal.
But you know me, I'm an optimist and look for the bright side even in my dark existence. I have as much fun as I can. While sewing, I've memorised Hamlet's monologue in English.
However, the inmates in my shift say that when I close my eyes and mutter something in Shakespearean English like "in thy orisons be all my sins remembered" it looks like I'm summoning a demon.
But I have no such thoughts: summoning a demon would be a violation of the internal regulations.